Morning Dose of Bubble P0rn

Paging Dr. Dong

jump-rope-urethra

Surgeons in China recently removed a jump rope from a man’s urethra and bladder after he’d inserted it in there for ‘sexual pleasure.’ Hanging 10 cm out the front, the biggest problem with removal according to a urologist named Dr. Dong, was the fact that the rope had become knotted. Makes you a bit squirmy, huh?

“It’s like, ‘You’re 40. What are you doing here?’”

old-dude-on-spring-break

In an attempt to relive their glory days, Old dudes are now going on Spring Break with the college kids, but instead of partying with bud light, they’re luring girls in with bottle service.

Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life.

Well, that was unexpected.

via, cartoonbrew

Keepin’ It Crude

Jacob Ovgren is one of the main artists behind Polar Skateboards in Europe. In his current show SEX (Sick Emotions X-ibit) at Beach London, he extends his graphic drawings onto paper and explores awkward moments of humanity in his own fun way.

Work available here

‘Monumental Snips’

march-madness-snips

March Madness is apparently vasectomy season. CNN notes an uptick in men scheduling their procedures to align with prime couch time, and fans wearing their favorite team’s duds to appointments. As one patient told his doctor ‘I have to have this during March Madness, you have to talk to my wife about it. Tell her what my limitations are and that I need to be on the couch.’

“Bill Clinton, Eat Your Heart Out”

french-mistress

Glenn O’Brien muses on The Mistress (France’s Secret Weapon)

It’s Nature, Baby

Tortoise mating sounds are familiar

“Having sex in your own home is not a crime”

lurker-of-the-year

Lurker of the year calls the cops after peeping a couple doing it in their own home. The cops obviously could care less.

Morning Dose of Statues

A music video for The Cowards by the Jullien Brothers

Printables

german-sex-industry

Welcome to Paradise by Nisha Lilia Diu

When Germany legalised prostitution in 2002 it triggered an apparently unstoppable growth in the country’s sex industry. It’s now worth 15 billion euros a year and embraces everything from 12-storey mega-brothels to outdoor sex boxes. Nisha Lilia Diu visits some of them to find out who won and who lost

Printables

Salma-Hayek-boobs

Yes, I’m Looking At Your Breasts … I Can’t Help It, I’m A Man by Zaron Burnett III

To the Women of Earth,

I have a confession to make. I’m staring at your breasts. And I can’t stop. Most breasts are rather wonderful. Small, large, or somewhere in between, they all look lovely to me. The best way I can put it is, I have the eyes of a hungry infant, everywhere I look in the world very often I see boobs. My eyes find the joyful curves of a woman’s chest completely unbidden by me. It’s subconscious. It’s biologically driven. It’s always been like this. It’s not you. It’s me. And since it’s me I figured I should be the one to do something about it. Right?

The Perverts Among Us…

Sex crimes and other weird stuff happening in the world
 
“Why would you let a 9-year-old who you hardly know put their feet on your face?”
A 19-year old ex-roller rink employee with a foot fetish has admitted to fondling over 200 pairs of little boy feet
 
“Yeah, I would definitely recommend it, if you’re lonely.”
Kids are now fucking Hot Pockets
 
“When officers arrived at the home, they found two men yelling for help from a second-story window”
If she stays out of trouble, 52-year old Terry L. Boyd will avoid jail time after keeping two men locked in a room as sex hostages
 
“Worshippers needed to feel free in their ‘mind and body’”
– A Kenyan pastor has apparently banned female congregants from wearing bras and underwear during church service
 
and to prove technology benefits all
 
“By the end of the year, I had slept with 15 men, 11 of whom were in their 20s or 30s.”
A 60-year old woman discovers Tinder
 

Morning Dose of the Indian Condom Song

 

Hood Wood

Thomas Lelu’s show ‘Tendre Violence’ is on view at Galerie L’écurie in Paris through March 5th.

Maybe Ludacris Was Wrong…

sasha-grey-ragu

Sasha Grey’s Love Beef Ragu

Lunchtime Laughter

Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train And Bang Each Other

Printables

tinder

Love Me Tinder by Emily Witt

Until recently, hookup apps were straightforward but sleazy. Then along came Tinder, the dating-hookup hybrid that made things simpler, sexier, and particularly lady-friendly. In just fifteen months, it seems to have cracked the code and caught fire. Here’s how Tinder won the sex-app arms race

Morning Dose of Deliveryman Dreams

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