Roger Gastman Gets Tattooed

I have some dumb tattoos. I LOVE dumb tattoos. I’m in Lafayette, Louisiana so decided why not get more? All I knew was it was either going to say Game Recognize Game or On With The Show. I saw a wizzzzzzzard and instantly recognized he had mad game. The guy tattooing me did not have a portfolio. He seemed cool and had been in the tattoo game for two years, so I just went with it. Half way through the wizzzzzard I saw the ICP on his forearm. I was so excited. Like when I see cake. We talked about ICP. He mad dedicated to them. Word. After we finished I asked if he had any more ICP ink. BAM he did not disappoint. Thanks Josh. This Faygo is for you.

Roger Gastman

[Read more]

Roger Gastman Goes To The Movies: Project X

I was so excited when I saw previews for Project X. I put the release date on my calendar and everything. Planned to see it on the first screening. I’m lazy I suck and I didn’t. Several of my friends called and emailed and texted and told me to stop everything I was doing and go see it that second. I finally went by myself cuz I’m a loser.

I am still shaking from it. It’s like someone went into my brain and took a zillion of my life experiences, and dumb things we dreamed happening (midget in an oven). I didn’t laugh once during the movie. My eyes didn’t blink. I don’t know how I’m going to sleep tonight. Like I think that movie was real. I’m confused. Now I know how war vets feel when they see war movies and have a flash back.

Also, the movie takes place in Pasadena. I was there today at my DR. for my yearly check up. Once again he didn’t believe me that I don’t do drugs or smoke or drink. Motherfucker. But he was psyched on me cuz I lost close to 20lbs since I was there last. Don’t worry people, I am still a fat fuck.

You know where I am going to be Wednesday, Thursday and every night the rest of this week? That’s right, by myself at the movies watching Project X over and over again. The only downside is that I didn’t eat my peanut M&Ms or drink my Barqs Root Beer – I was too taken in by the film. True cinema. Big Shout out to my dawg Eugene Levy & Stiffler’s mom in the American Pie Reunion film preview I saw before Project X.

Roger Gastman

Roger Gastman Goes Pineapples

Have you ever lived Thursday twice? I have. I was in Japan then I flew to Hawaii. I left Japan at midnight Thursday – and landed in Honolulu at noon on Thursday. Damn. We felt like shit. But we had a crazy few days in front of us. We knew what we had to do in our few free hours – hit the Dole Pineapple Plantation. See where those tasty yellow things come from. So that’s what we did. We hated it so much but found it so awesome that we went back again the second day in-between jobs. Both days we had the Dole Whip. That is basically pineapple flavored soft serve. I also got it a third day in a row at the mall food court. But that’s a story for another post.

facts:
Did you know it takes 3 years to grow 2 pineapples on one plant – then the plant dead? Well it does.
Another fact – I tried to clean out the gift shop.

Roger

[Read more]

Roger Gastman Watches iCarly

Those of you that have had the unfortunate pleasure of knowing me might think sometimes I am a bit creepy. What ever – get over it, I’m just keeping it real.  Not much has changed since I was 16. Same damn soundtrack also. The point of this… I am flipping the channel, end up on Law & Order SVU – see a 9 year old girl as the rape victim. Man, I recognize her! It’s Sam from iCarly! Jennette McCurdy. Yes, I watch iCarly – it is an amazing show. The new episode this past Saturday has a warm bag of dog poop in the first scene, then they go to Canada and check out the Hostess type factory called Fat Cakes. Moral of the story is watch iCarly. And Jennette is actually pretty funny, I follow her on Twitter. And it ain’t even creepy.

Roger Gastman

[Read more]

Roger Gastman’s Gift Guide 2011

I am going to give you my opinion and my opinion says that holidays are not that cool unless it’s Halloween over and over again. But Dave who runs this site thinks you dear readers want some new fresh gift ideas. So in no order at all I give you a bunch of crap to waste your money on for your ungrateful friends – BOOO!

Roger

[Read more]

Non-American Graffiti

Roger Gastman narrates a feature about rebel art for Foreign Policy

Roger Gastman Goes To The Movies

I saw the movie Drive. Yeah, some violent, good close-up of killing some fools. But it’s the slowest movie. It’s like I was watching an old time silent movie where they don’t talk. But it ain’t silent. Some dude name Cliff something wrote the music for it. I really enjoyed the opening credits – they looked cool. Gave me lots of hope for the film. Chicks love the film cuz of the Ryan guy. Put me in that role and nobody wants to watch it. Let’s talk about something else. I finally got with the times and watched and payed attention to the Katy Perry Friday video. I’m a fan! Kenny G – Hansen – Debbie Gibson – Cory Feldman! It’s a winner. Speaking of Cory F, I just watched Lost Boys 3. Screw Drive, check out Lost Boys 3 on Netflix or grab it at Blockbuster.
Highlight of the film Drive:  chick gets her entire head blown off with I think a shotgun.

Roger

Hollywood Rog

Behind-the-scenes with Roger Gastman on the set of the new Best Coast video directed by Drew Barrymore.

[Read more]

Way To Match the Cookies With Your Clothing

Roger Gastman gets interviewed in the Wall Street Journal

Roger Gastman Reviews Burger King’s new Blueberry Mini Biscuits

I heard a rumor about Burger King’s new Blueberry Mini Biscuits. I hate the word mini, and well I hate most all mini things, but I love biscuits, I love blueberry pancakes and blueberry bagels so you know I had to go there and try them.

Not since Wendy’s decided to get “new” fries (old ones still BETTER) have I been this excited to see the possibilities of joy in my stomach. Today was the day.

The verdict – they were not bad! They were actually quite good. Like they might have even baked them in house and not just microwaved them up. I could have eaten about 30 of them to fill me up. So moral of the review – if you mad hungry order like 12 orders of them.

Roger

PS – I didn’t try the icing.

“Average at Best”

Clear, 2010, Slovakia

Very Different Animals

Roger Gastman gets a nice profile in T Magazine

Roger Gastman Liked This

Risk / Black House

Roger Gastman is a Creep

I have a photo series that I am working on. It’s about being creepy. I’m a good ass creep. I have been training my entire life. Here is a sneak preview.

Roger

[Read more]

Rog R. Roc

The Hundreds recently posted a great interview with sometime contributor, plastic charm necklace wearer, and full-time hustler Roger Gastman. If only he had given them a pic of that Bethesda tattoo…

Read it here

Roger Gastman’s Update from Eastern Europe


Here are a few pictures from my trip (that I am still on) to Slovakia – yes I said Slovakia. When I got the call I was like – wait did I learn where that place is in geography class in school? I thought it was a joke. But it worked out – here we are – me POSE and SABER. It is actually kind of awesome here – well at least what I have seen so far. And I got to eat strawberry risotto – dats rights! So all you people reading this that are like shit – I want to break into that guys house – he is away – NO GO! I gots the dogs – and I got a person and persons staying there 24 hrs a day. Back to Slovakia – I wonder if there are vampires here?

Roger Gastman goes to the Movies

I’m writing this from an airport in Germany. Yesterday I saw the film The American. I had read and heard great things about it. But it sucked. Like sucked real bad. Like I wanted to walk out. I don’t know what the plot is – why things happen and why did they make this movie? I know I am far from the smartest guy in the world – shit even on my own block. Best thing about the film – a nice pair of tits that are real. But not worth a ticket. Ban this movie. F-.

Roger Gastman Mourns the Death of Gary Coleman


Los Angeles, CA, May 28, 2010 — Gary Coleman, the star of the sitcom Diff’rent Strokes, died this morning, after suffering a brain hemorrhage.

The news of Coleman’s death has deeply saddened Roger Gastman, creative director of R. Rock Enterprises and co-founder of Swindle and While You Were Sleeping magazines.

In 1999, Coleman was featured in issue 9 of Gastman’s While You Were Sleeping magazine. In the article, Coleman discussed his career, spirituality, and openly admitted that he was still a virgin at 32. “Still a virgin and counting,” he laughed. “Women just don’t pay attention to me.” He also discussed his two kidney transplants, saying, “Having a kidney is like having a pet, and I don’t like pets.”

In 2001, Coleman and Gastman team up for three days during the Magic Tradeshow in Las Vegas, NV, to promote While You Were Sleeping magazine. “It was the best three days of my life,” Gastman says.

Gastman grew up watching Diff’rent Strokes, and admired the child actor in his role as Arnold, as well as Coleman’s work in movies such as Midgets vs. Mascots.

“This is a sad day,” Gastman concludes. “I miss him already.”

For more information visit rogergastman.com

[Read more]

Roger Gastman on Title Tracks

Buy music online? Listen to it on myspace – all lame – so I told myself for like a way long time. Then for some random reason – i’m sure it had something to do with me checking the Dischord Records site, I found the Title Tracks. It was catchy – all most in like a girly way, like I questioned my manhood (what little I have left) for listening to it. Over and over and over again. But crap, it was like real real good. Then I saw that my old buddy was the drummer – Andrew Black. Andrew even interned for me at While You Were Sleeping. Played drums for the Explosion among a bunch of other neat stuff. Basically I am telling all of you that I am a music critic – and I know what all of you like. I mean just check out my sound advice I did for this crappy website you are reading and wasting your time on now instead of mine: rogergastman.com. Anyway, my sound advice was the most downloaded one ever. It even crashed the servers at world’s best ever. In fact it was so great dave is going to repost it right now after this title track post. Go buy my friend andrew’s music – he has mouth’s to feed.

http://www.myspace.com/titletracksdc

http://www.dischord.com/band/title-tracks

[Read more]

Page 1 of 212