Here is the definitive 2012 round-up of sexual mishaps in the Sunshine State.

Sex, sex crimes, and other weird stuff happening in the world 

Wait, what? Scientist: ’”Viewing online pornography can make you lose your memory.”

Don’t call young Swedish women sluts

He meant that things needed to change. A South Carolina man was arrested after throwing a jar of change at his girlfriend who denied his request for some oral pleasure.

How does one legally do that? Crime: Illegally Transporting East Texas Deer Semen

Hillbilly Porn is on the up and up

and while on that subject…

In just 6 years, 1.2 million years worth of internet porn has been watched on two websites

Sex, sex crimes, and other weird stuff happening in the world 

“There’s no business like ho business.”

Meet the Sexxxtons, another Mother-Daughter porn duo

A plot was foiled to castrate and murder Justin Bieber

‘You’re 13 today! If you had a rich boyfriend he’d give you diamonds and rubies. Well, maybe next year you will — when you’ve bigger boobies!’

and while on the subject of boobs…

The latest way to smuggle 3 lbs of cocaine? Inside your breast implants

Sex, sex crimes, and other weird stuff happening in the world 

Berkeley students are doing it in the Stacks

Never complain to a cop that a prostitute hasn’t given you your money’s worth

A German nymphomaniac who had a penchant for holding lovers hostage was found dead in bed

Sometimes the law interferes with procreation

Usually an animal isn’t the third you think about in a threesome

This woman filed a false rape claim because she didn’t enjoy the sex

and finally

Testicle plates

Sex, sex crimes, and other weird stuff happening in the world 

“My wife and I have been married for five years. I recently discovered that she made between 10 and 20 porn videos when she was 19… I am devastated.”

Misplaced sex toy = ironing board assault

Germany is finally getting around to banning sex with animals

If you ever sleep with this woman, make sure she has an orgasm too

How to screw over your old lawyer boss who defends sex offenders? Open a day care next to his office.

Apparently having sex with a demon will make you gay

Vaginal cosmetic surgery: “”feel like a real woman again.”

One lady went searching for God, then settled for sex

and finally

Walt Disney’s Story of Menstruation

Sex, sex crimes, and other weird stuff happening in the world 

Here are The Top Ways We Injure Our Genitals

In Brazil, there is a sex hotel strictly for pets

An olive oil injection is not the best penis enlargement procedure

Scientists have found a ‘fidelity’ hormone which keeps men from straying

Jenny McCarthy once ate some ecstasy and tried to have sex with a tree

Some of our Presidents had some kinks

“Money and sex” are two of my favorite things too

Sometimes having sex in a car looks like suicide

and sadly

One in three women feel depressed after making love

Sex, sex crimes, and other weird stuff happening in the world 

A landlord in Iowa admitted to drilling 4 holes in his tenant’s ceiling to watch them in the bathroom because “they were women and naked”

1 in 3 British men can’t see their penis.

The guy in Florida who was caught having sex with his miniature donkey a while ago wants it back. The donkey’s name is “Doodle.” 

A Pennsylvania transgender man was arrested for flashing his breast implants in a Walmart

Another former porn star turned eighth grade science teacher is fired

Teacher of the Year in China followed through on a promise to dress up as French Maid if this class upped their grades

and

Just-In Beaver 

Sex, Sex crimes, and other weird stuff from the past week

A Brazilian girl just sold her virginity for $780,000

Sex Burglars are real and in London

In Florida, a Man has been accused of masturbating on a beach in front of mom with two small kids

This 21 year old Woman Allegedly Had Sex With Teenage Girl While her deployed Husband Watched Via Skype

Ladies in LA are now getting G-Spot injections

Here’s the 911 call about the couple having sex in an Orlando restaurant

A search of a naked clown’s vehicle who had been soliciting sex from truck drivers resulted in the seizure of several sex toys, Halloween masks and head lamps

and finally

Justin Bieber is being Sued By Michigan Man For Allegedly Purchasing a Penis Enlargement and an Abortion for Selena Gomez With a Stolen Amex