One lady in Bradenton, Florida got quite a surprise at four in the morning when she went down to her lanai to investigate some sounds that had woke her in the night. What she thought was a “thunderstorm blowing chairs around her screened in porch,” turned out to be an eight foot alligator that had broken through the screen to go swimming around in circles in her pool.
A naked man high on PCP put on quite a show for passersby at a busy intersection in northwest Houston. According to one onlooker: “He was doing the Beyonce, the surf board, twerking, the Nae Nae. Every dance that’s out there right now, he was doing.”
“Wild Thing” Mitch Williams lived up to his nickname over the weekend by getting ejected from his 10 year-old son’s baseball game for cursing out an umpire just like they used to do in the big leagues. Caught in the heat of the moment, the former Major Leaguer had to be physically separated from the ump after his expulsion, and subsequently refused to leave the field for an additional 10 minutes, causing a delay in the children’s baseball game.
More from H-Town as a ‘Serial Pooper’ has been terrorizing the historic neighborhood of Woodland Heights. The mustached man who has been caught on video dropping deuces on the front lawns and driveways of homes, uses paper towels to wipe, and leaves the big sheets behind as an additional calling card. Neighbors are not pleased: “Whatever people think should go on around here — pooping is not okay. We don’t want dogs pooping in our yards why would we want a human? It is very strange.”
Early on the foggy Saturday morning of July 28th, 1945, a U.S. Army B-25 bomber on its way to Newark Airport crashed directly into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building. The building reopened two days later.
Two men being detained on a traffic violation in Bartlesville, Oklahoma shared an intimate moment in the back of a police cruiser earlier this week. With outstanding felony warrants and three eight balls of meth in his mouth, Timothy Povlick knew he had to do something drastic in order to conceal his speedy merchandise. His answer? Swallow the meth. Fortunately, his good buddy wouldn’t let him take the entire load himself, and the two agreed “We’re going to have to be gay for a second”. And “gay” they got. The two outlaws proceeded to kiss and transfer the baggies, unaware that their entire conversation and act was being recorded on a newly installed dashboard cam. Now charged with possession of methamphetamine and destruction of evidence, the tweakers had no clue that their brief exchange and advice, “Don’t Suck on em… swallow em homie” would be prepping them for a new life in the penitentiary.
The Atari Graveyard in an Alamogordo, New Mexico landfill has been excavated. Among the findings were copies of the fabled “worst game in history,” E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, and vintage Atari games like Centipede and Missile Command. The bounties of the dig—which was facilitated for a documentary about the graveyard—will be split 90/10 between the city of Alamogordo and Fuel Entertainment, with the city’s share destined to be placed on the market at some point in the future.
Before going to bed on the night before Good Friday, Cowgirl Café owner Karen Hendrickson prayed to the Lord: “Dear God, please just continue to look over the Cowgirl Café.” Little did she know that the next morning her prayers would be answered, and it would be the big guy’s son who would do the watching. Risen from the griddle—and soon to be on display in the Norco, California restaurant—this image of Jesus with “a receding hairline” appeared on a freshly made pancake. To some it’s a “divine sign,” and to others a wasted meal that looks like Charles Manson, but whatever the case, Jesus is out there on a pancake on a plate for anyone that wants to make the pilgrimage.
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