“Love: Stronger than hate.”

charlie-hebdo

Our thoughts go out to the country of France and all those with affiliations to the staff of the satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo, who were attacked today by multiple lunatic terrorist gunmen during the magazine’s daily editorial meeting at their offices in Paris.

 

Our Lady of the Perpetual Grind

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As Christianity weakens across Europe, former places of worship offer up some interesting real estate opportunities.

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“I’ll give you a chance to be creative”

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The exact phrase you want to hear from a judge when you have no money for bail, but you just got a new pair of Nikes for christmas.

They Fall So Hard

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Dustin Diamond aka Samuel “Screech” Powers aka “The Switchblade Kid” was arrested Friday morning in Wisconsin after stabbing someone at a bar on Christmas night.

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Jeffrey Gamblero, Rest in Peace

korn

Known to his crew as KORN, and to the world as a Brooklyn Nets “Super-Fan,” Jeffrey Gamblero passed away yesterday due to complications from a two-story fall from a window at his father’s apartment in Queens. He was 38-years old.

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Frostbitten Flamingoes

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Flying the wrong way due to “unusual climactic conditions,” four different flamingoes flapped their way into Siberia last week.

Perverts! Everywhere!

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Tom Ford is selling a golden penis crucifix… although it’s not a likely purchase for the convicted sex offender who won $3 million off a scratch-off ticket. That guy was in Florida, as was this 21-year old, who was caught masturbating outside of his home because “his mother won’t let him watch pornography in the house.” And in other family news… Twin sisters recently did battle over a vibrator and a boyfriend. They were also in Florida.

Serious About Cereal

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General Mills has announced the return of French Toast Crunch to 21st century cereal bowls, but we have to wonder, how will it taste with all the new-fangled nut waters that have infiltrated our refrigerators?

Not as Much Raping and Pillaging as Previously Suggested

viking-women-todd-james

A recent study portrays Vikings as ‘family men’ who brought their women along on voyages to conquer new lands.

Art by Todd James

Rest in Purrs to the World’s Oldest two-faced Cat

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Frank and Louie aka “Frankenlouie” was 15 years old.

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E-cigarettes Can Be Hazardous to Your Computer’s Health

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When plugged into the USB port to charge, your computer might “inhale” malware that’s been hardcoded into the e-cig, essentially making it a digital cancer stick.

DC’s Mayor for Life Has Left This Earth

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Rest In Peace, Marion Barry. We’ll never forgive that bitch Rasheeda for setting you up.

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