Walking in LA is bullshit. As really the only form of exercise I ever got in New York, I thought I would carry the trend on over to the West Coast when I moved out earlier this year. While I still hoof it from place to place in my neighborhood, this city makes you feel uncomfortable doing it. First, there’s the fact that there’s nowhere worth walking to. It just seems that all the best places to go, you need to be driving or be driven. No bodegas either. Secondly, you can’t jaywalk, which is dumb. Let me cross the road when I feel like I can safely enough do it. And finally, this thing where you have to push a button to get a walk signal? Fuck you. Let me jaywalk or automatically turn it on. The unnecessary stress of having to remember to hit that button really ruins a peaceful activity. Great weather though.
Alfredo Adán recently made the task of pushing the walk button a little more enjoyable by turning the act into a fist bump. Good work from him on that.
After spending years as a midwife, Takiko Shindo mastered the Japanese art of Oppai Taisou (translated: boob exercise), which is meant to help women “achieve healthier, shapely bosoms.” Realizing that her hands were a hot commodity and that all women should benefit from her method, Shindo developed the “Oppai Taisou Hand” to simulate her master touch. Essentially an oversized back scratcher, the pink plastic hand allows its user to simulate the groping method in the comfort of their own home.
Imagine driving a car—your car—to the end of a cul de sac in the Hollywood Hills where you park it inside of a garage carved into a hill. Upon exiting the vehicle, you and your date walk through a gated tunnel to a private elevator where you’re whisked up 6 stories to the top of a Tuscan tower. After stuffing everything back into place, you and your date arrive at your front door high above Hollywood BLVD. You remark “this is where David Copperfield used to live” and now my friend, this is where you live, and you’re the one with the magical powers. Featuring hardwood floors, a washer/dryer, and excellent views from the terrace, this one bedroom apartment is a sun-filled world away from that old studio you used to rent in the city that never sleeps. So sleep in, and look forward to many more elevator rides to your new heaven.
The price of the most expensive home for sale in the United States. The newly-completed Palazzo di Amore is a 25-acre estate with its own vineyard in Beverly Hills, California, that features a 35,000-square-foot Mediterranean-style villa, and a 15,000-square-foot entertainment center. The Palazzo has the prerequisite discothèque with a rotating dance floor for all the euro dance parties, and includes 12 bedrooms and 23 bathrooms so that guests are virtually guaranteed privacy for whatever they’re feeling on club night. The estate also has a bowling alley, a theater that seats 50, a tennis court, plus a Turkish-style spa and a 128-foot reflecting pool and fountain.
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