Welcome to our new weekly column by The Principals, where every Friday they summon someone or something to the Principals office. Lessons will be learned, tears might be shed, parents could be called.
This Sunday is Super Bowl, and normally we wouldn’t really give a chunk, but our beloved Ravens have made it to the big game and we’re in a bit of a frenzy, so here’s our special Super Bowl themed Principal’s Office: This week we’re calling the entire city of San Francisco, please report – we’d like to have a word with you!
Aside from being a skateboarding mecca and the home of one of our most beloved clients (looking at you Everlane ;), San Francisco holds the distinct position of being the only suitable American alternative to NYC or LA. But while that kind of street cred might land you some ex-models or tech billionaires, it won’t keep you out of the Principals Office. You’ve been riding high for too long, and your demise looks like it might come from an unlikely source: Baltimore. That’s why the Super Bowl is the great equalizer. The former murder capital of America meeting the country’s most livable city 47 years running, these two towns are like oil and water (which, by the way, happen to be the two main ingredients in the San Francisco treat – Rice a Roni). But under the eyes of the Lombardi trophy all cities are equal, precisely why it’s been a whole 150 years since our last civil war. San Francisco, you may be 4 point favorites, but despite your exquisite thai cuisine, aggressive parkers and Full House connect you don’t stand a chance against the marble door steps, crab pickin’, vowel droppin’ Hons of Baltimore. And before you even ask, yes we’ve BEEN to San Francisco, once when we were 13 and our stepdad’s sister got married. We didn’t like it; too hilly, too pretty.
Grade: B – Beware of Baltimore.
The Principals are a Brooklyn-based interactive design studio