Nips: Wild Turkey

Whiskey is what we drink in America. It’s what our cowboys were drinking when they drove the American Bison extinct just because it was fun to shoot them. It’s what Thomas Edison was drinking when he invented the electric chair. It’s what our boys overseas were drinking when they liberated Kuwait. It’s what heroes drink. So what’s up with whiskey brand names? Old Granddad. Old Crow. Wild Turkey. The truth is that Americans love eagles, but we also love the mean-as-hell, knobbly-headed, decrepit old turkey. We like them stringy, whip smart, and cold eyed. If you’ve ever shot your old lady down, if you do dirty deeds and you do ‘em dirt cheap, if you’re Axl Rose, then pour yourself a double.

The dominant taste is alcohol, since it’s one hundred and one proof. That extra one proof stuck on the end (which you might think is just gratuitous) actually serves a key function: it’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

—Arlo Crawford

2 Comments, Comment or Ping

  1. And Turkey is way cheaper that Jim, Jack & Johnny!

  2. Doodah

    Is that an AC/DC reference? great Australian Band. Australia is not known for Turkeys of the avian kind. As for humanoid Turkey’s we have plenty.

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