Shit! I did a double header – and I know it aint even baseball season yet. But they be down in spring training swinging those bats – getting drunk and riding speed boats. I dedicate my last Saturday night to them. The baseball players on the “roids” – don’t get caught!

I started the evening at the lovely Americana in Glendale California. Did you know you can get an apartment/condo there? At the MALL! I could live at the mall – I would be home now. And I would be so so so so happy. I mean even just a weekend get away bungalow – one bedroom joint! What what! Did I mention it was at the mall?

It is a fancy ass mall also – they got a J-Crew (where I buy ALL my boxers at since like 92′ bitch!) and a Cheesecake Factory. Shout out to strawberry shortcake and Linda’s Fudge cake.

Back to the point. I started off seeing Beverly Hills Cop – I mean Cop Out. It was mad funny! And kids that are now 17 and can go see R rated joints don’t remember Beverly Hills Cop – so why not remake it? Tracy Jordan is awesome and looks super sexy in a cell phone outfit. He pulls it off so much better then I do. Word.

After a detour to get a few slices of PIZZA – cuz the movie darn made me hungry! (NOTE: I was not avoiding the Cheesecake – just not enough time between films.) I saw THE CRAZIES next! And that shit was not so crazy.
Didn’t even make me jump out of my seat. It was “ok.” Would be better to watch on pay per view on my sofa in my J-Crew boxers. No great subplot like in Zombieland with the Twinkies. The main bit did serve herself a piece of cake at a diner – but the CRAZIES got at her before she could eat it.

All in all both these films would kick CRAZYHEARTS ass. BUT no boobs or full
frontal in either one.

Roger Gastman for rogergastman.com