In this feature, two of our favorite people, Neil Anblomi and Anita Goodman, ask each other important questions

This week, Neil asks Anita…

Neil: Most Americans do not accept the theory of evolution. Instead, 51percent of Americans say God created humans in their present form, and another three in 10 say that while humans evolved, God guided the process. Just 15 percent say humans evolved, and that God was not involved.  So if we evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? On second thought, thats not my question, this is.  If you could be born again would choose to be a different sex to what you are?

Anita: You wanna know why we have monkeys and apes? Because them shits is DANG cute. You obviously haven’t been to a zoo in a long time, but if you dig deep in your memory, you might find that 30% of entertainment while chilling at the zoo is catching a chimp, baboon, or makak straight up jacking off, grinning at horrified families. That shit is hilarious! No one wants to see a rhino touching himself, it’s too complicated. Monkeys and masturbation? A win every time.

Now to answer your second question: I would fucking LOVE to have a dick. First of all, they seem like a bundle of fun. And second of all, you get to pee! Everywhere! Anywhere! All the time! No squatting down, pulling your pants to the side, exposing your entire ass to whoever happens to walk by, and inevitably dumping half a cup of urine down your left shoe. Nope! It’s like the Canon elph: point and shoot. Not only does having a ween sound like just a more practical option, but do I even need to touch on the whole monthly bleeding + pushing an entire human being out of a hole between your legs situation? Sure, motherhood is a beautiful thing, but dicks are beautiful too. Sign me up for the sex change, I’m ready.