Every Friday I read Blue States Lose on Gawker. This quip by Alex Blagg might possibly be the best I have ever read.
"Count Igor Facetious is a magical goth troll who lives under the Williamsburg bridge, emerging only at night to torment unsuspecting passers-by with his tinseled hair and diabolical beauty. According to downtown legend, he has sex with rainbows, never sleeps and only eats disco balls."
