Hey there you pork bellied Barry Badrinaths, this week’s Kid Nation was more exciting than an HJ, a BJ, hell even more thrilling than the last ZJ I got (and kids, if you don’t know what a ZJ is, you can’t afford one). I’m gonna cut to the chase here and skip all gobbeldy-gook I normally lather all over your pre-pubescent ears: DK, the Donkey Kong who ruled Bonanza while blazing barrels was threatening to leave at this week’s town hall meeting. In a heated intervention on Taylor, just as Sophia screamed “Go Home Slut!!!” DK was the only pioneer to come to her defense. Not so much because he likes her, I mean who could like that beaver toothed, won’t go to the well to get water, uppity southern prig? That’s right, no one could like you, now fire your parents. But in his own words DK chose to leave because, “I can’t stand all the hate!” Lucky for our doo rag sporting DK there was nothin’ but love for him in the town of Bonanza. After a moving sing-a-long of John Lennon inspired “Give Bonanza a Chance” and a private talk with newly elected official Guylan (a free ZJ perhaps?) DK decided to stick it out in Bonanza. Which was good choice indeed, cause the council already decided to award him this week’s gold star. And as host Jonathan so eloquently puts it; this week’s star, just like all the others, “is worth its weight in gold! Literally.” Happy gold star DK, don’t melt too much down for your grill, save some for your Halloween costume dog. I’m Gene Parmeshawn sayin’ I make pasta taste better!